learned something new !!

I came upon something rather funny but so true that if i could, i would give every person i meet a copy. There are a few social obstacles i face having a chronic illness. for starters when i just come out and say that i have chronic illness my fingers are crossed that the person doesn't run in the opposite direction. Secondly there is always the chance that the person will think i am an alien but i will figure that one out if the time ever comes ! Back to what i found, i found a blog with the " 10 commandments of interacting with the chronically ill" at first i wasn't sure what to think but then after reading it, i was so glad i found the blog. so here are the " 10 commandments of interacting with the chronically ill"

1. Thou shall not imply that we are not truly ill.
Now to be a little blunt for a second, people might think that saying "you look like your feeling good today" might be the right thing to say but i don't always take that the right way. On days when i don't feel good at all, in the nicest way possible i do not wanna hear that i look good.

2 Thou shalt not imply that the illness can be easily fixed.
This one is pretty straight forward and unfortunately a lot of frustration comes from being told not to worry you will be fixed and better one day. The frustration is from how long it took me to accept that i was told i will never be able to have a job that requires me to be on my feet and that alone was a stab to the gut.

3. Thou shalt not imply that we brought this on ourselves
Maybe i have done things in my life that were not the right thing to do but that does not give anyone the right to say its my fault. I did not choose to become sick nor would i choose to make anyone sick like i am. Instead of judging me, why not give me respect for the strength i have found within myself.

4. Thou shalt not insult or argue with our limitations or behaviors.
I am not going to say sorry because i cannot do something, instead i will smile and walk away because to me if you can argue about what my illness prevents me from doing then its not worth the breathe to argue back.

5. Thou shalt not imply that you can relate to what we going through.
I respect the effort and kindness, its awesome that people want to try to understand but at the end of day your not in my shoes and don't have to deal with all of it 24-7 and its not a bad thing to say that you do not understand or are going through a different but difficult situation. We all have our own stories and past and that is what brings us together not that we can say we totally understand.

6.Thou shalt be mindful of other family members
I'm not sure if people think about the people closest to the chronically ill, Believe it or not they go through everything with us and experience the hurt, stress and fear. Its a lot for them and they deserve praise for their strength also.

7. Thou shalt acknowledge our efforts and celebrate even our small successes with us.
It may sound crazy to some people but for me to spend the whole day out of the house and be okay the whole time is an accomplishment so big its like winning the lottery. What makes it even better is when friends celebrate the accomplishment with me.

8. Thou shalt offer thy specific help.
This one may be a puzzler for some people but i hate asking for help and hate accepting help. Its stupid but being chronically ill i feel like a "burden" from people doing the simplest things for me even though i need the help. It still have to learn to swallow my pride and accept the help "sometimes"!

9. Thou shalt remember important events
Yes i remember the day i was diagnosed officially and its a huge thing every year for me. It is what has gotten me to where i am now. Some chronically ill like friends to know when they have important doctors appointments but I'm not like that so don't worry about those !

10. Thou shalt get to know the person behind the illness.
I am not my illness, i have an illness. those are two totally different things and i do not want to be introduced as the "friend that is sick" or " friend that i told you about" i would prefer to tell people i meet when i feel I'm ready and its necessary.

The "10 commandments of interacting with the chronically ill" are something to think about but the rest is just my opinion....


God Bless
- Hannah Roberts