The fight within

I find myself in the mood to write. i find when i feel like i don't want to talk about it that i should write about it.
i'm struggling, a chronic illness is called chronic because chances are you will have more bad days then good. Frankly, i can count the good days in the last 6 months on ONE hand. I know that sucks but that is life for me, i find my ways thru the shitty days and enjoy every second of the good ones. My struggle right now is my body and mind run at completely different speeds.  My mind is always running, thinking of the next task, next dream, and every possible adventure out there for me. My body however has a total different idea, challenging me and bringing out my strength, but my body does not want to go on the next journey or eat the next meal without reminding me of one thing. The energy and strength my body needs for everyday tasks, in which i always underestimate. i can will my way thru outings but the whole time my body is fighting a battle within me . a battle to keep my blood pumping, my heart beating and my lungs breathing. The sad part is, no matter how hard my body fights, it does not know how to work like everyone that walks past me. Simply walking is a marathon within me, and i forget to stop being angry at what i cannot do and rejoice in my accomplishments. I must not dwell in what i think im missing out on but love every experience i have. This is my challenge and i occasionally need to remind myself that even small achievements are something to be proud of.