The Challenge
I promised myself to be honest with people about my life and my chronic illness. so here we go..
The challenge, i find the hardest part of my life is the fight between mind and body. My mind thinks one thing and body decides to do something totally different. let me elaborate... i still after 6 years of being faced with the challenges that come with P.O.T.S, even though im twenty years old i dream so big. I dream of all the things im going to do and want to do, but the thing is none of these dreams i have for my life include my illness. I really couldnt tell you if this is a common thing or im just even more of a "unicorn" then i think am i. To me, i guess i still hold onto the idea of one day being better. One day having no more of the limitations that come with P.O.T.S. The truth is, i dont know what the future holds, i do not know if i will get better or at least well enough to make some of these dreams a reality. Im terrified that i wont be able to fight hard enough to achieve my biggest dream of all, becoming a doctor and helping people like me, the girl sitting here writing about how life right now is just hard.
Six years is a long time, i have had a lot of ups and downs and of course i have felt stuck like this before. Even though i have felt stuck and like i cant get over this hurdle, i find a way. It takes a bit of time but i always look deep inside me and pull out all the fight i have in me and i get up and fight.
I am proud to say i am honest enough to admit i am having a tough time right now, my illness and me dont always see eye to eye but that is okay. Writing about this is the only way i know that helps me accept and move on from the negativity. I do hope some of you can relate to some aspect, at least know that you are not alone on the tough days.
Everyone reading, it is okay to just be okay.
God Bless
yours truly,
~Hannah
The challenge, i find the hardest part of my life is the fight between mind and body. My mind thinks one thing and body decides to do something totally different. let me elaborate... i still after 6 years of being faced with the challenges that come with P.O.T.S, even though im twenty years old i dream so big. I dream of all the things im going to do and want to do, but the thing is none of these dreams i have for my life include my illness. I really couldnt tell you if this is a common thing or im just even more of a "unicorn" then i think am i. To me, i guess i still hold onto the idea of one day being better. One day having no more of the limitations that come with P.O.T.S. The truth is, i dont know what the future holds, i do not know if i will get better or at least well enough to make some of these dreams a reality. Im terrified that i wont be able to fight hard enough to achieve my biggest dream of all, becoming a doctor and helping people like me, the girl sitting here writing about how life right now is just hard.
Six years is a long time, i have had a lot of ups and downs and of course i have felt stuck like this before. Even though i have felt stuck and like i cant get over this hurdle, i find a way. It takes a bit of time but i always look deep inside me and pull out all the fight i have in me and i get up and fight.
I am proud to say i am honest enough to admit i am having a tough time right now, my illness and me dont always see eye to eye but that is okay. Writing about this is the only way i know that helps me accept and move on from the negativity. I do hope some of you can relate to some aspect, at least know that you are not alone on the tough days.
Everyone reading, it is okay to just be okay.
God Bless
yours truly,
~Hannah
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