Lets get REAL
For those of you who follow my YouTube channel, my recent video Our Stories was a compilation of questions and answers regarding life with a chronic illness. One of the question i asked my P.O.T.S friends was; what does a chronic illness mean to you ? I was going to make a video of me answer this but because i have so much to say about it, i decided to write this blog.
What does a chronic illness mean to me ? When i though of this question it came out of curiosity, not of just what their opinion would be but curiosity if i sat and truly thought about it, what thoughts and experiences would come to mind. So i did sit and think about it.
Chronic illness; for starters im not a huge fan of saying chronic illness. One its to formal and second i get funny looks when i say it. If i could "rename" it, i would name its my "quirk". for example...
Hello, my name is Hannah and i have this little quirk but it keeps life interesting, my body doesn't exactly work like it should, my heart goes a lil crazy and my blood pressure has a mind of its own. but its all good....
That is totally how i wish it was but all giggles aside its not. My quirk (chronic illness) is my friend and my enemy. It builds me up and tears me down. A chronic illness is something i beg to have some control over, just to have the ability to say " not today". Control is the last thing you have with a chronic illness, i swear somedays it mocks me, because i was so looking forward to that one thing and of course i end up unwell, laying staring at the ceiling, dreaming about how much fun i would of been having. The friend part of my illness, it has taught me so much. The person i used to look up to, im learning how to become. The strength to be myself, and the courage to stand on my own and speak my mind, my illness brought that out in me, My illness gave me an even louder voice, im learning how to use. The enemy in my illness, is the one who throws hurdles, that take everything in me to get passed. laying there at 1am, feeling so sick that i dont even have the strength to sit up. Days that take all your effort to put a brave face on even though you feel like you got hit by a truck.
The one thing that stands out to me the most, a chronic illness means being special enough to see life in a different and special light. Life is hard yes but life can bring the best out of you if you let it.
Someone asked me, if i were to wake up tomorrow and be illness free, would i live life the way i am now or would live all the things i missed out on. Of course there are a couple things i dream of doing but i would not stop sharing my story, my pain and my happiness. But most of all, i would not stop fighting to show those struggling that it can get better and there is always hope. I will always be "different" because of what i have gone through with my illness but one thing i can promise is i will always love that about myself.
finally if i could put it in one sentence; A CHRONIC ILLNESS TO ME MEANS YOU CAN KNOCK ME ON MY ASS BUT IM GETTING BACK UP WITH BOTH ARMS SWINGING.
What does a chronic illness mean to me ? When i though of this question it came out of curiosity, not of just what their opinion would be but curiosity if i sat and truly thought about it, what thoughts and experiences would come to mind. So i did sit and think about it.
Chronic illness; for starters im not a huge fan of saying chronic illness. One its to formal and second i get funny looks when i say it. If i could "rename" it, i would name its my "quirk". for example...
Hello, my name is Hannah and i have this little quirk but it keeps life interesting, my body doesn't exactly work like it should, my heart goes a lil crazy and my blood pressure has a mind of its own. but its all good....
That is totally how i wish it was but all giggles aside its not. My quirk (chronic illness) is my friend and my enemy. It builds me up and tears me down. A chronic illness is something i beg to have some control over, just to have the ability to say " not today". Control is the last thing you have with a chronic illness, i swear somedays it mocks me, because i was so looking forward to that one thing and of course i end up unwell, laying staring at the ceiling, dreaming about how much fun i would of been having. The friend part of my illness, it has taught me so much. The person i used to look up to, im learning how to become. The strength to be myself, and the courage to stand on my own and speak my mind, my illness brought that out in me, My illness gave me an even louder voice, im learning how to use. The enemy in my illness, is the one who throws hurdles, that take everything in me to get passed. laying there at 1am, feeling so sick that i dont even have the strength to sit up. Days that take all your effort to put a brave face on even though you feel like you got hit by a truck.
The one thing that stands out to me the most, a chronic illness means being special enough to see life in a different and special light. Life is hard yes but life can bring the best out of you if you let it.
Someone asked me, if i were to wake up tomorrow and be illness free, would i live life the way i am now or would live all the things i missed out on. Of course there are a couple things i dream of doing but i would not stop sharing my story, my pain and my happiness. But most of all, i would not stop fighting to show those struggling that it can get better and there is always hope. I will always be "different" because of what i have gone through with my illness but one thing i can promise is i will always love that about myself.
finally if i could put it in one sentence; A CHRONIC ILLNESS TO ME MEANS YOU CAN KNOCK ME ON MY ASS BUT IM GETTING BACK UP WITH BOTH ARMS SWINGING.
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