What people dont see
An invisible illness is more than just not being able to always see the symptoms. its the struggle and fight you don't see. A page on Facebook for the patients and caregivers of people with forms of dysautonomia posted that we lost a fighter of dysautonomia. This was hard for me to read because i know exactly whats its like to fight a invisible chronic illness. After reading this i felt like i should share the things people don't see and the things i truly don't share.
I will start with how hard it is that everyday you know that you could of had a different life and you could of been someone different before POTS ripped my life from my hands. Over three years now and i still cannot step foot in an high school, i become overwhelmed with what if's and a massive feeling of failure and disappointment. Actually a few weeks ago i thought i was strong enough to go in a high school, within 10 minutes i will outside and completely broken down. i don't think i will ever be able to accept the chunk of life i missed out on and will never to get to experience. My biggest everyday fight is not giving up, from the minute i wake up till i go to bed. I cannot do what i want to do in life and every time i try to live i end up having to pay for it by having seizure like episodes that no one can tell me why or what they are. I may never find out why i have theses episodes and i might never find out what they are, and that is frustrating not knowing what is happening to me. Fingers crossed things work out for the best when we go to Toledo Ohio in may to see the specialist again.
Never give up, God Bless
-Hannah
I will start with how hard it is that everyday you know that you could of had a different life and you could of been someone different before POTS ripped my life from my hands. Over three years now and i still cannot step foot in an high school, i become overwhelmed with what if's and a massive feeling of failure and disappointment. Actually a few weeks ago i thought i was strong enough to go in a high school, within 10 minutes i will outside and completely broken down. i don't think i will ever be able to accept the chunk of life i missed out on and will never to get to experience. My biggest everyday fight is not giving up, from the minute i wake up till i go to bed. I cannot do what i want to do in life and every time i try to live i end up having to pay for it by having seizure like episodes that no one can tell me why or what they are. I may never find out why i have theses episodes and i might never find out what they are, and that is frustrating not knowing what is happening to me. Fingers crossed things work out for the best when we go to Toledo Ohio in may to see the specialist again.
Never give up, God Bless
-Hannah
(BAH! I just wrote a comment and it disappeared! )
ReplyDeleteHannah, you truly are an inspiration to me and to many others. Thank you for writing as that is one of the MANY gifts that you have to offer! It shines light into things that many don't know. BUT, know you truly are an inspiration young lady who I am blessed to know! Praying for you as I do daily! Hugs and love friend!